It all started because of a cookie
by Tatiana Match
Summary: *An old story of mine redone* So it started with a couple of blog questions, harmless right? Who knew it would turn out into a full scale Flock prank war, where it is every mutant for themselves. Lots of flock shenanigans and even some Fax and Niggy
1. Fang's blog

A/N: HI GUYS! alright i'm back from almost 2 years of not being on here, and i have no idea why I left! So I'm starting back up my Fax War story but with the blog post that started it all. Hope you enjoy my madness

-Tati

Alright guys this right here wasn't supposed to happen, it took a lot of begging, kicking, screaming, and the promise of chocolate chip cookies but I got the whole flock to sit down to answer some questions that a crazy reader of mine sent it. Enjoy

- Fly on

Fang

From Bri:

Alright so I know a couple months back you had a girl comment a bunch of really stupid questions and you answered them. SO NOW IT'S MY TURN, I want you and the entire flock to answer them… PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PLEASEEEEEE.

Now enjoy

WHO'S THE SMARTEST FLOCK MEMBER?

Fang: street smarts? Max hands down. Diabolical able to take over the world? Angel.

Max: Me, they are all still alive aren't they?

Iggy: Well it's obviously me, I mean the flock wouldn't be here without me if it weren't for…. Never mind Max is, she is currently holding a giant text book over my head and I have no wish for my I.Q to take a dip

Nudge: Max, max is really super smart, I mean a lot smarter than people give her credit for, I mean she saved the world twice and managed to look semi- fabulous while doing it. I say semi because she did have some pretty bad split ends that she refused to let me cut, speaking of split ends I need to get mine cut because I look like a lion and guys don't like girls that look like lions. Or maybe they do I could have that whole Sasha Fierce thing going on ya know? OMG THAT WOULD BE SO… okay they are taking the laptop away from me now

Gazzy: Either my sister or max, I would have more to say but Nudge took way to long

Angel: I think I'm pretty smart, smarter them most 8 year olds, but Max is smart too. I think we are all smart in our own way. Just depends on the situation

ARE ANY OF YOU GUYS GAY?

Fang: IGGY IS THE HOTTEST EVER, I MEAN WHEN I SEE HIM I JUST WANT TO DO THINGS TO HIM AND

That wasn't me Iggy is a narcissistic asshole, and no bro, I mean girl. I like Max and I prefer female anatomy over male anatomy if you catch my drift.

Max: uh no, I very much prefer a shirtless Fang *que entire flock minus fang with shit eating grin on his face groaning at Max's answer*

Iggy: You know I like girls you can feel their b….

Nudge: Channing Tatum is gorgeous, I would have his babies. Case settled

Gazzy: err no.

Angel: What does gay even mean? Oh wait… IGGY EW THAT IS DISGUSTING WHY WOULD YOU THINK OF THAT WITH A MIND READER PRESENT?

WHO HAS THE DIRTIEST MIND IN THE FLOCK?

Fang: only sometimes when it involves Max. *gagging noises from Angel*

Max: our resident pervert Iggy with his sidekicks Fang and Gazzy

Iggy: I DO NOT HAVE A DIRTY MIND I HAVE A SEXY IMAGINATION

Nudge: Iggy

Gazzy: I'm not a pervert… am I? *Iggy shouting "IF YOU HAVE THOUGHT OF BOOBS YOU ARE"*

Angel: Iggy… be thankful you can't read minds

ARE MAX AND FANG GOING TO HAVE LITTLE FAX BABIES?

Fang: What the fuck

Max: I saw Max, Fang and babies in the same sentence. That can't be good

Iggy: they already have started…. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

Nudge: OMG IF MAX AND FANG HAD BABIES THEY WOULD LITERALLY BE THE MOST ADORABLE THING EVER. What if they had Max's eyes and Fang's hair omg omg omg that is too cute, and I would be their awesome Aunt Nudge, OH and I could dress them in super cute little outfits that match. WAIT WHAT IF THEY HAD TWINS, but it would have to be boy, girl cause it's cuter that way. Um I'm going to stop now Max is glaring at me as she reads over my shoulder

Gazzy: Iggy and I have a running bet that Fang will get Max pregnant before she's 20. I think before she turns 18

Angel: awe it would be cute if Max and Fag had babies.

DO YOU LIKE DYLAN?

Fang: the things I would say about him are not appropriate for this website or the children reading.

Max: no… just, no

Iggy: I think the dude just needs to get laid, that's why he's so uptight

Nudge: Dylan was kinda nice? But no not really, he always had this lost puppy dog look on his face

Gazzy: I "accidently" lit his room on fire once

Angel: I can read his mind… I didn't know people laid down like that

WHO LOST THEIR V-CARD FIRST?

Fang: uhm, the girl I lost it with would kill me if I said anything so I'm going to keep my mouth shut

Max: Damn straight I would, wait fuck why isn't that deleting. FUCKING FANG *Iggy "You already are!"*

Iggy: I think we all know who lost theirs together. Those 2 need to learn to keep it down

Nudge: ew

Gazzy: ew

Angel: what's a V-Card?

Alright guys that was enough of those, shockingly Iggy is still in one piece, and nobody has any vital organs missing… well that was entertaining enough. Enjoy!

-Fly on

Fang


	2. Who ate my cookie?

**A/N: Hey guys, Max, Fang, and Iggy are all 17, cause I personally think 15 year olds do not sleep together (and I mean in the most literal sense of the word) and do some of the stuff Fang do. Rest of the flock ages are Nudge-14 Gazzy- 11 Angel- 9**

So it wasn't supposed to turn into this, I mean when I look back and think about it a harmless prank war between the Flock wasn't my best or brightest idea as leader.

You know it really is all Fang's fault if you think about it. He's the one who started this whole prank war, I had to retaliate as any good leader would. I guess I should start from the beginning. My name's Max and my 5 feathery followers and I started a series of little pranks, harmless I swear; little did we know it would turn into a full scale prank war.

I woke up with the sun shining in my face, but not like in the movies where the girl's hair is already perfectly done, and the ray of sunshine hitting her face makes her look even more perfect.

Not with me, the little ray of sunlight poking through the curtains was aimed right at my eye and made it hard to try to go back to sleep. I rolled over trying to avoid the sun, but Fang's arms were secured tightly around my waist, not allowing me to move.

I struggled to undo his vine-like grip around me, though the more I struggled the more he tightened his arms around me. His soft breathing made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and in any other situation this would have been pleasant, the pesky little ray of sunshine didn't agree with that.

I finally turned myself in his arms so that my chest was facing his I snuggled myself deeper into his arms and enjoyed the feeling of his muscular body pressed into mine, the sunlight no longer an issue.

"Good morning" Fang mumbled out sleepily his arms bringing me closer into his body, he lazily fluttered his eyes open, each of his long black lashes getting tangled in one another as he blinked away sleep.

Fang even half-awake looked like a model; his black hair stuck up in thick black spikes all over his head, but in the most sexy way possible. Sleep still lingered in his features smoothing away even the little crinkle that Fang had in between his eyebrows, and the worry lines etched into his handsome feature.

"Good morning to you to handsome", Fang smiled lazily at me and released his grip on my body. He sat up and stretched his long arms over his head, the muscles in his chest and abdomen rippling.

"See something you like?" he asked cockily as I openly gawked at his chest. "Sadly there isn't much to look at", Fang mocked hurt on his face and I let out a brief chuckle, the frown on his face was priceless.

"So I've decided I'm not letting you out of bed today" Fang said nonchalantly, as if he had just asked me to pass the butter. "Is that so?" Fang replied back "I think Iggy can take care of the kids for just one day, while you and I stay in our room and have some quality bonding time". I scoffed at Fang "if you mean by quality bonding time that you and I would be engaging in certain activities then no, and as much as I would love to the duties of a leader never end".

Fang pouted at my response and with no avail tried Bambi eyes. They just look awkward on him, despite the fact he is undoubtedly sexy. I pulled myself out of Fang's reach and rolled off the bed. As I stretched my arms above my head, Fang's t-shirt lifted with my arms and exposed my back side. Fang openly ogled my ass as I walked into the bathroom.

"Max are you really really really sure that you don't just want to let Iggy watch the kids today?"

All of a sudden Fang appeared behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist pressing his hips into mine, making sure I could feel how much he wanted me to stay. "Faang, as much as I want to stay, if I left Iggy in charge they would most likely blow up the house, and I'm quite fond of the house", Fang accepted defeat but without compensation.

I yelped when he smacked my ass, before he plopped himself onto the bed and gave me his signature Fang smirk. Glaring at him I returned to brushing my teeth, my butt cheek stinging where Fang smacked me.

***This is a sexy line break***

Walking down the stairs, the smell of fresh baked cookies filled my nose, the smell of sugar and chocolate melted together in a heavenly symphony and I immediately wanted them.

Nudge and Angel had mastered my Mom's recipe for cookies because God knows that if I attempted to try to bake I would set the kitchen on fire. I immediately jumped off from the sixth step and bolted to the kitchen, in this house cookies never lasted long.

"Morning Max" Angel said hearing me before she actually seeing me. I made my way over to the island where the cookies were sitting on a plate. I immediately shoved one in my mouth reveling in the way the cookies melted in my mouth.

"Morning" I mumbled incoherently, cookie crumbs spilling out of my mouth

"Hey Max..." Nudge trailed off the sound of her voice hinting that she wanted something. "I knew you guys didn't just make cookies to be nice, what do you want, or who did you accidently kill?"

Nudge started off "Well nobody is dead so that's a good thing right? But I wanted to know if we could go to mall tomorrow cause I need new bras, oh and speaking of bras PINK is having a sale on underwear and I need to get some as well. I love all the new colors they are so cute, including the cute lace ones. OO Max we need to get you some cute underwear too, cause yours are kind raggedy ya know, and mmdfhd".

Nudge was cut off as I shoved a cookie in her mouth, trying to end her rambling. "Alright fine we can go to the mall" Nudge and Angel both began squealing loudly and I held up a hand to silence them "but, there will be no dragging of me into PINK, I'm pretty sure that much concentration of the color pink has to be semi-radioactive. I'll give you money to buy me stuff"

At that the girls began squealing even louder, and ran up the stairs whispering about thongs. I rubbed my head praying the headache to go away that always seemed to follow after I had to agree to something that I knew I would definitely regret.

Moments later an explosion shook the entire house followed by loud swearing and car alarms going off. As if my day couldn't get any better!

"GOD DAMNIT, IGGY, GAZZY; GET YOUR SKINNY ASSES IN HERE RIGHT NOW" the boys came running in both of them covered in what looked like ash from head to toe.

"Care to explain to me what the hell that was?!" "Um no not really" Gazzy coughed out, his attention immediately going to the burn mark in his jeans.

"Well if nobody explains then you will be forced to clean Nudge's room and do her laundry for a month. In our house that was a death sentence for the horrid amounts of glitter and clothes that resided in her room would make Ke$ha jealous. Both boys paled at my threat and they both started talking over one another.

"Well really it was Gazzy's fault"

"NO IT WASN'T"

"Well you should have told me which wire was which, I'm the blind one"

"Oh like that's ever stopped you

"Both of you SHUTUP, I don't care who's fault it is, all I want is the scorch marks scrubbed off the side of the house NOW!" I barked out menacingly.

Iggy and Gazzy, scrambled from the kitchen and ran out into the backyard tails between their legs, with buckets and something that resembled a toilet brush in tow.

"I swear one day these boys are going to blow up the world" I muttered quietly to myself as I flopped onto the couch. I grabbed the TV remote from its spot wedged between the couch cushions and flipped it on.

Nothing was worth watching except for reruns of Project Runway and the Originals, I chose the latter and fell asleep after Elijah ripped out some nameless werewolf's heart.

*this line break is even sexier than the previous"

First thing I felt when I joined the land of the living again was the remote jabbing into my back, I had fallen asleep with one foot on the top of the couch and the other bent awkwardly at the knee. I can't even fall asleep like a normal person.

Checking the time on the kitchen clock I saw that I had been asleep for about 45 minutes and it was almost 11. Guess it's time for another cookie

I got off the couch (see dragged my limp body) and walked over to the kitchen. One cookie left, damn I swear these kids are like garbage disposals. I reached my hand forward when all of a sudden the cookie disappeared.

"Where'd my fucking cookie go?" I yelled to the audience I didn't have. I heard chuckling, chuckling that I wouldn't have heard without my super sensitive hearing. "Fang damnit give me the cookie before I castrate you in your sleep!" Fang faded into visibility cookie in his hand, and a shit eating grin on his face.

"Well Maxie, I want the cookie, and you've probably already eaten your body weight in cookies so it's only fair" Fang explained trying to come off as sincere as possible

"Who are you? The god damn cookie police? Give me the cookie or else Fang Jr. is at risk"

"Awe Maxie you wouldn't hurt Fang Jr. He's always so happy to see you"

I slowly enunciated each word "Give…. Me….The…. Cookie"

"Sorry Max no can do" and you know what the little bastard did? He ate MY COOKIE!

"You're a dead man now Fang" and I bolted after him promising all sorts of vicious things. Fang ran out the back door which was conveniently opened for him. Fang tripped over the hose as he was running and I ran at him full force (which wasn't much when I was 105lbs soaking wet).

As I went to go push Fang in the pool, while he was still off balance he somehow managed to grab me and throw me over his shoulder.

"FANG LET ME DOWN RIGHT NOW" Fang laughed as I pounded on his back and kicked his chest as hard as I could landing some very well placed kicks in his groin area.

Through gritted teeth Fang muttered out "Max—I suggest you stop doing that"

"Or what? What could you possibly do to me Fang? You already ate my cookie" and with that I landed another kick straight into Fang's groin.

Fang groaned out loudly, his knees buckling under him.

"That's it! You asked for it!" he yelled at and Fang never yells, and with that Fang threw me into the pool.

**Fang Pov**

Max landed into the pool with a loud splash, and when she resurfaced she was spluttering her eyes were the size of plates. The shock finally settling in. I began laughing at the sight of Max in the pool, her hair a tangled mess on her head.

"You asshole!" Max yelled at me. She was fuming and her entire face was red from rage at me, in that moment if looks could kill, I would drop dead in the spot, without some important appendages.

"You know the least you could do is at least help me out of the pool" Max said solemnly. Her face had turned back to its normal color and thought "it's the least I can do'. Max swam to the edge of the pool and reached out my hand for her to grab it.

Her small hand wrapped tightly around mine and just as I was about to pull her out, I realized my fatal error a second too late. She tugged hard on my arm, and I went tumbling into the pool with a loud splash. I came up gasping from shock and my hair hung in dark wet strands around my eyes.

Max laughed so hard till she was red in the face

"You totally *gasp* fell for that" Max said between explosions of laughter, the look on her face one of pure self-satisfaction.

"That wasn't very nice Max" I said pouting still in shock. Max's laughs eventually died down and turned into the occasional giggle.

"Well while this was entertaining I'm going to go take a shower, I hate smelling like chlorine" Max swam lazily to the edge of the pool, putting her palms on the concrete to push herself up. I took a moment to enjoy Max's completely soaked form, her clothes sticking to her in the most attractive way possible. Her white t-shirt had become completely see through, her hot pink bra visible.

"Hey Maxie I like your bra, really suits you"

Max looked down at her chest, and let out a mortified shriek and ran inside the house; the sound of her bolting up the stairs evident even from outside"

I called out after Max "It's not like I haven't seen you in a bra before Max!" I chuckled to myself and laid back allowing myself to carelessly float throughout the pool.

Max: 1

Fang: 1


End file.
